Bob got so fed up hearing everyone he knew go on about their pet fishes, he decided he felt rather left out and decided to get one too. He decided to name his little goldfish Facebook.
His friends taught Bob ‘remember to look at your fish every day, feed him and take care of him and he’ll give you endless hours of mindless relaxation‘.
So Bob decorated Facebook’s bowl with lots of interesting things; a castle, some shrubs, a treasure chest, even some sparkly stones. Facebook was sure to love it.
Facebook did indeed love it very much and he and Bob got on famously. Bob was never short of little stories about the wonder of watching fish to share with his friends and all was well.
Bob loved to peer in and watch his new friend swim round, and round, and round, and round… hours would pass and Bob would shake his head incredulously – wow, what have I done with my time today? Yet every day he would faithfiully look in on the fish until it was habit. He liked Facebook’s simplicity and unlike so many other pets, there was so little effort required. ‘What a breeze this is!’ he’d marvel to his friends. ‘Oh yes, nothing like it, can’t even remember what life was like before we got our little fishies’ they’d concur.
But very soon Facebook started to slow down and looked a bit peaky around the gills. Bob became concerned. What was wrong with him? ‘Oh you need to feeeeeed your fish! Just a few little sprinkles every day, that will keep him nice and fat, swirling round and round happy and free – afterall no one wants to peer in at a pale and floppy fish!’ advised his friends.
So Bob began to faithfully sprinkle colourful flakes into the bowl for Facebook to nibble up. Flakes here and there. Bob thought Facebook was loving the sprinkles so he added more night and day until his friends warned him ‘Oh no Bob, once a day is plenty. You don’t want the bowl to get murky too fast!‘.
Sure enough, Bob soon found the bowl was getting dark, murky and rather a little stinky. So Bob decided to have a clean out and make sure Facebook the Fish was all nice and clean again. Bob scrubbed and primped and shined and re-filled with nice fresh water and indeed, Facebook looked very fresh and appealing once more.
But as the weeks and months rolled on, Bob realised he had to keep on cleaning the bowl out for Facebook and it just kept getting dirty all over again.
Bob began to get fed up of the same routine of sprinkling food, watching the Fish go round and round. This low-maintenance pet never learned new tricks, never challenged Bob to a race, never did anything much actually. Sometimes when Bob was especially busy, he’d just poke the side of the bowl with a ‘tap tap’ to make sure Facebook was still alive in there.
Bob seemed unable to stop himself peering in at Facebook just to see how he was, yet he knew deep down he was just as he always was.
‘ The more sprinkles I feed Facebook the more he poops!!‘ complained Bob to his friends. They nodded knowingly but shrugged. ‘ That’s just the way it is’ they consoled.
One morning, Bob came to peer in on Facebook just as he always did but was met with a sorry sight.
Poor little Facebook The Fish was floating on the surface of his murky bowl, lifeless and stale. Bob disposed of his little pet sadly but when his friends talked about their own fishes, Bob couldnt help himself….
He bought himself another goldfish.
This one he named ‘Twitter’.